Love yourself first Corazon

Love yourself first

It's the words I tell to my self every time someone tries to ruin my peace of mind and my happiness

Because I am a kind person I always atract people who is energy vampires

 

They are those kind of people who needs love of others, help of others and confirmation from others

They are the kind of people who have big ego's and afraid to what will the society will think and tell about them

This people will appear like they are strong and wise in front of others but deep inside they are weak and afraid of many things even this things really never exist in reality

In reality they are not wise they don't even know anything because they base what they know on what they read in the books or what their society teach them

They are those kind of people who can't live alone 

They always needs someone beside them giving them what they need and what they want and in return they will do anything that the person is telling them because they are afraid to loose that person where they benefit the most

They are the kind of people who always looks for the negative side of the person so they can use that negative side to gaslight the person and make that person obey them no matter what they want because they don't know how to have what they want if they don't use others ability so they use this strategy to gaslight a person and make that person obey everything what they want and if the person will not obey they will remind the person how much they are not worthy because of this negative traits this person have

Once the victim wants to be free they blame the victim for everything that they done wrong to that person

But if I see that the person has this kind of toxic behavior I never say anything

Why? 

Because I'm doing something

I'm making plans and doing things that this person doesn't know

I plan carefully on how to escape on my situation to this person that this person can't do anything to stop me

I don't care if the person loves me or not 

Because they only needs me if I have something to give and in the end only me and myself will stay forever

And if I give everything they need if they want to left me I will be left with nothing

Even my happiness and peace of mind will be ruined

That's what happens with me many years ago

I gaved all to those people I cared for even I can't do something I force myself to do it 

Even to have many bank loans just to give everything to them

I even sacrifice my life working abroad just to give them everything

But when I come back home and I become jobless I see the reality 

That no one will do the same way I do for them just to save me

No one will sacrifice for me

No one will give me everything I need 

They will just watch me falling and dying every day

And that's when the time I learned to love myself

And now I'm left alone fixing my life without the help of those people who I gaved love and give my life and even my wealth

They gives me nothing but blame that I'm the wrong and they are the right

Now they are enjoying the fruits of my labor and enjoying my wealth while I'm here left with nothing but credits to pay

Trying to reestablish my life to make it more stable and happy

Now I'm doing it for myself and not for others

But I still love them 

That's why I need to walk away from them now

I told myself Corazon how can you love someone if you doesn't even love yourself? 

How can you give to others if there is nothing left for you? 

You need to love yourself first Corazon, so you can give love

You need to full your cup first so you can pour a blessings into another cup

You need to take care of yourself first before you take care of others

That's why now people starting to tell me that I changed and I don't love them anymore

But in the reality I never changed I just give the love I'm giving to others to myself

I really love them so much that's why I need to be strong and do things on my own so that when I come back to them I can offer them a pure love and care

I can offer them stable life and happiness that can't be distructed by anyone or anything else again

Its all we need to be able to love, we need to love ourself first